Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Boom Boom

On my way to work this morning, I had a word picture come to my mind. It was Rose's X screaming for Lily to stand up and get out of her coffin. I realized that I keep trying to resurrect things that are dead.  No wonder I am so tired and depressed. Bottom line is I cannot resurrect things, only Jesus can. 

At work Mr. Medic said that he did not think I was out for the count. He said he could still see the fight in my eyes. I told him, yes indeed it is hard for me to quit (anything.) Miss Sunshine said that I am moody, and Malinda is a very caring and giving person. She checked in with me today first thing.

I went to a union meeting today. I cussed like a drunken sailor. It was fun. Yes, I stooped to a new low. I did not care.

Do you remember the song - BOOM BOOM OUT GOES THE LIGHTS? That was the song that was in my head all day.

I had someone tell me today, that my dad's illness was "not about" me. That was a strange thing to say. When something affects your life, doesn't it become about you? Yes it is his illness. Yes, he is suffering. I can't even comprehend what is going on in his mind. But the results of his illness roll down hill on me and everyone else in the family.

Me and my dad went on a "walk" today. It was good. 

I have been thinking about MaMajane all day today. I wonder how many time she went to bed and cried? How did she handle the stresses of life? I look up to MaMajane so much. Thank you God for MaMajane.

I am sorry for all my friends in blog land. I have not visited your biogs lately.  It is true when you are depressed you turn inward.

Thank you for the reminder Blue Ridge! It was a good one!

Cha-Cha thank you for the prayers , they have helped hold me up.

I am very grateful for my sweet friend.  

As bleak as everything seems right now,  I know God is with me not against me. 

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