Saturday, July 31, 2010


In my area we have a group of homeless men. They have been dubbed the 7 wino's. The 7 wino's have a territory that covers the south east area of my city. They are aggressive panhandlers.  They scream and cuss  at you if you don't give them any money. They will walk into a supermarket and start looting the store. They pee in the street and pass out on the sidewalk.

Today I had to go to Walgreens. I hate going to Walgreens because it is in the territory of the 7 wino's. As I was leaving a homeless man approached me. He said "do you have any spare change?" I said " sorry I can't help you today" he said "no?" I said "no." He said "I like your attitude" and walked off.

I was not sure how to take that. Was he being sarcastic? Was that a complement?

Monday, July 26, 2010


One more day and my new teacher is gone. Today he told me that I was going to be the teacher today and tomorrow. I told him if I get teachers pay. He got really angry. I don't care. So I told the speech therapist who I am sure told the principal that my teacher has no lesson plans and I am a little nervous about moving forward.  Thursday is going to be our hardest day, nothing going on. Not much on Friday. It is Popsicle day. That will take 10 minutes. Wild child is coming back tomorrow.

So today young lady admitted she did not like doing poopy diapers. DUH, who does. We have it worked out where for "potty" duty that she takes princess, I take wiggle worm and the rest is up to negotiations.

Today I worked out a deal if young lady wanted to prepare snack for the students (getting out of working directly with the students for about 10 minutes) she would have to take Blondie to the "potty." Blondie has a temper tantrum every single time. Young lady took the deal. My new teacher said he had never heard negotiations like that before. That is because he has never had me in his class before. 

I am worried for students. He is not going to tell them he is leaving. I keep worrying that our little tiny students are going to have abandonment issues. He needs to tell them he is moving or something. It just seems like the right thing to do for their mental health.

Here is what I am going to sing to my new teacher tomorrow. It's time to say good-bye, good bye, it's time to say good bye, good bye new teacher, its time to say good bye.

Today since I was the teacher I taught the students a "new" song. Are you sleeping, are you sleeping brother john, brother john, morning bell's are ringing, morning bells are ringing, ding -dong- ding. We have a little bell and each student had their chance at ringing it. Blondie loved it the most.

Today I was teaching Pony Tails how to do the Miss America wave. I got a glare down from one of the teachers. So I told Pony Tails that Miss America is really smart, that is why she is Miss America. The teacher still glared at me. Pony Tails kept trying really hard to make her hand cup so she could do the Miss America wave.  It was so cute. She was holding her wrist and staring at her hand trying to make it do what she wanted her hand to do. Pony Tails hand was NOT cooperating. 

4 more days.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Did You Hear That

You all know about my X Mormon Friend (XMF.) She has something like 20 kids, and all her kids have had kids. (and I am not talking about goats.) One of my XMF kids Jamie had a skin care product party tonight.  Jamie invited all the siblings.  I am going to name one of Jamie's sisters Barbie because that is what she looks like, but her boobs are bigger because she recently had a boob job.

Barbie is drop dead gorgeous, big boobs, tiny waist, long blond hair, golden tan skin and blue eyes. Tonight Barbie had on a white t-shirt with a plunging neckline (almost to her navel) little bitty gray shorts that almost covered her butt, and silver rhinestone sandals.

After the party, I was shooting the breeze at the table with XMF, Jamie, The Make Up Lady and Ruby when Barbie walked in. Barbie said to the Make Up Lady - do you sell make up brushes? Yes, The make up lady says. Barbie said she wanted some bronzing powder and brush. The make up lady says I am not sure how much the breast, I mean brushes cost. The make up lady was going to find out the cost of the brush.

So I am sitting quietly trying not to giggle, when Jamie looks across the table and says to me (while Barbie and the make up lady are talking), Did you hear that? It was all over with. I started laughing hysterically. Jamie started laughing, that made me laugh even harder. My XMF says what are you two laughing about, so we tell her, My XMF started howling. Now all three of us are ROFL. I was crying. I have not had a good belly laugh in a long time.

I love laughing. Us adults just don't get enough of it.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Bible Time with RQ

One of my favorite stories in the bible Jonah. Part 1
Jonah 1:1-6

 The word of the LORD came to Jonah son of Amittai: "Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me." (Jonah hated the Ninevehites that's why God told him to go to Nineveh, it was a test) But Jonah ran away from the LORD and headed for Tarshish. ( The opposite direction. Are you running from God in some area of your life, or has God been pulling at your heart- you can run but you can't hide) He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the LORD. (did Jonah really think he could get a way with that?)  Then the LORD sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up. All the sailors were afraid and each cried out to his own god. And they threw the cargo into the sea to lighten the ship. But Jonah had gone below deck, where he lay down and fell into a deep sleep.( I can just see it all the sailors running around panicking while Jonah is below deck taking a nap)  The captain went to him and said, "How can you sleep? Get up and call on your god! Maybe he will take notice of us, and we will not perish." (If God's people would just call, God would notice and people would not perish in a spiritual way or literately. If we call on God, could it help someone addicted to drugs, alcohol, porno, gambling- all my favorite things - just kidding,  I say yes it can help you to stop or someone else.)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Corn Festival

Me and my gig a low went to the corn festival today. It was fun. My mouth has been watering for a real corn dog on a stick. Not the boxed kind from Costco, My mother used to make the very best homemade corn dogs. When we arrived I did not waste anytime. I headed right for the corn dog vendor. $5.00 for a a jumbo corn dog. The batter around the hot dog was fluffy and golden brown. Just what I had hoped for.

This was way different then the garlic festival. I thought they would have corn ice cream and corn bbq sauce and corn everything. Nope. They had grilled corn and corn dogs, but not anything as creative as corn smoothies. The garlic festival is way better that way. The last time I was at the garlic festival I had garlic bbq lamb. the lamb was tender and sweet.....

It was 102' at the fair. Way to hot for me, but I still wanted to go to the midway. My gig a low won a stuffed animal for me by throwing darts. A little yellow duck. I won a gold fish to be friends with Murry (my beta fish) I named him "bite face." I am good at the throwing the ping pong ball in the little bowl game. I always win a goldfish whenever I try. I won him on my 3ed ball out of 5. I was worried that bite face was going to get to hot in his little plastic cup with a lid. So we would rest in the shade, I would take the lid off bite face's cup. Me, my gig a low and bite face watched people pass as we cooled off in the shade. Bite face was gold with a black stripe down his back. I got many comments on bite face.

Me and my gig a low each won a case of water from Food Maxx. They had a roulette wheel.  I also won a Marine dog tag. You were suppose to do 10 chin ups or something, so I put bite face down and was going to try to do a chin up.  The very young and handsome Marine felt sorry for the poor old lady (me) and gave me the dog tag. I didn't have to do a chin up. hehehe. I got an Army lanyar, but I didn't have to act like I was going to do a chin up. All the Army guys said they would rather be in the South where Mr. & Mrs. F are. They said they like the humidity. Not this dry heat. I told them they could have the humid heat and I will take Mr & Mrs F back. Fare trade. They agreed.

I love to shoot the breeze with strangers. Especially people working in booths. I got a toilet plunger from this lady who is a plummer. But I forgot it because I was fussing over bite face. My gig a low said he would go down to the hardware store and by me a new one if I had to have it.

Everything was going well, but I was getting heat sick from the heat. We decided it was time to go home. My dad wanted us to pick up a corn dog for him, so we did on the way out.  This young family with 2 little boys where standing at the stop light with us. One of the little boys says "Can I hold your fish." Well you know what that means "can I have your fish" So I asked the mom if the kid could have bite face. She and the dad agreed that he could. I made the mom promise that she would take good care of bite face.  So bite face went off with the little boy and his family. I hope bite face will do well.

I thought I was going to be sick before we got to the car. It was just way to hot. I made it. We dropped off the corn dog at my dad's house. He was very happy.


Do you remember the band KISS? I was in the KISS ARMY! LOL. This morning I woke up with the song Beth in my head.. Beth I hear you calling, but I can't come home right now, me and the boys are playing .... just a few more hours and I will be right home to you ... Beth what can I do (band plays) beth what can I do. Beth I hear you calling, but I can't come home right now, it looks like me and the boys will be playing all night (his voice fades) I still have my KISS trading cards. 

Here are some of the bands I saw growing up. Most of the time Marcie and Sis were there with me. Who did I forget? I wish I could find my rock and roll t shirts I bought at the concerts.

Aerosmith -RQ has got a gun, RQ is going to kill someone.. just kidding
Journey- When the lights go down in the City, and the sun shines on the bay! Still love that song! You have to admit San Fransisco is a beautiful city.
Rod Stewart  - He used to always kick soccer balls into the audience. HOT LEGS he was singing about my legs.      
Van Halen featuring David Lee Dog Breath (David lee Roth) and Sammy Hagar -Where have all the good times gone?  I still can't drive 55
Rush (that should of told me I was going to be a geek) Yes I had my 15 minutes in the Lime Light
Rolling Stones when Mick Jagger was still kind of young - You can't always get what you want!
The Who - Teenage wastland.
3 Dog Night - 2 can be as bad as one it is the loneliest number since the number 1.
Bonnie Raitte- I can't make you love me if you don't. I can't make your heart feel something it won't. I saw her at the Garlic festival in Gilroy.
George Thorogood and the Destroyers - Bad to the bone!
Bryan Adams - Wow he was great! One of the best concerts I ever went to. I was learning about Heaven.
Huey Lewis and the News, it was before they had their band had big hits so I walked right up to the stage and could touch Huey Lewis foot. I thought they were boring so I didn't hang around.

I went back stage and partied with some roadies, I can't remember who the band was - Oh yeah, Jackson Brown. Running on empty.

Marcie and Sis did not like country music, but I do. I saw in concert

Johnny Cash and the Carters -But I know I had it comin', I know I can't be free, But those people keep a-movin', And that's what tortures me.
Roy Clark - Orange Blossom Special.
Sons of the Pioneers - Ghost Riders In The Sky.

I partied with Eddie Money on two different occasions.

What do I do now, sit here at my computer. BORING.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

To The Leader Of The Group

 1Tim 3:1-7

Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, (it is your heart) he desires a noble task.(Yes, it is a noble task.) Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife,(wife of 1 husband- who could be married to more then 1 husband? I would pity the woman) temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. (all those reasons why I can't be a good leader) He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) (what can you do when they are teenagers though? ) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. (that makes since to me) He must also have a good reputation with outsiders (you do), so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap.(anyone can fall into the devil's trap at anytime if your not careful)


Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Dream Catcher

Here is something I bet you don't know about me. I help people interpret their dreams. I have been doing it for years.  It all got started when I wanted to study my dreams. Your mind never shuts off even when your sleeping. When I became a Christian God sent me some amazing dreams. Then I started reading the bible about dreams.

All my previous dream studies and Christianity all came together to help people understanding their dreams. 

Don't believe those general things you read on the Internet about symbols in your dreams, because each symbol is unique to the person dreaming. 

One of my favorite dreams: One day I was stuck in traffic. So I got out of my car, pulled out my black umbrella and flew over the traffic like Mary Poppins!  I was standing up straight holding the umbrella looking at all the traffic that was stopped underneath me as I was flying over it. It was so fun.

Have you ever had a dream where you wake up crying, really angry or laughing out loud? I have. Have you dreamed you have seen loved ones that have pass on? That they were still alive or that you talk to them. That is always a hard one. I dream in color, do you? Some people only dream in black and white.

My doggies dream, I wish I could see what they were dreaming. The boy doggie must be dreaming that he is barking at the mailman or he is chasing people away from our house. The girl doggie must be dreaming that the boy doggie is just a mutt and she is a pedigree. I don't know, but that would be my guess.

My gig a low talks in his sleep. I can ask him questions about his dreams while he is still sleeping. He will always answer, I love doing that! What are you dreaming about -a blond in a bikini -I will tell my gig a low, I hope she has zits all over her body and she has a hairy back, hoping the suggestion will get into his dream. Most of the time he never remembers our conversations. 

Monday, July 5, 2010

12 mile Bike Ride

So I didn't tell you in detail about my 12 mile bike ride. Sheryl and I went.

Helpful hint #1. Don't go on a 12 mile bike ride the day after you get a tetanus shot. My arm hurt every time I went over a bump. The trail was bumpy.  My body ached and I was getting cold chills even though it was almost 90' outside.

The trail was beautiful.  It goes from Lafayette to Moraga. The trail winds up and down the rolling hills, around cobble stone houses, and pine trees. You go past St. Mary's College.

I didn't see the college because I was focused on muscle pain and chills. I was riding very slow and Sheryl had to keep backtracking. She is a trooper for putting up with my slowness.  At one point I had to get off my bike and walk it up a hill. This time I remembered to breath and drink water so I didn't get dizzy.

When we arrived in Morgra Sheryl treated me to a brunch at this old red barn place. It was fun. We sat  at a picnic table under an apple tree with our bikes and had a delicious breakfast. I didn't want to eat to much salt because I was worried that I would swell up and not make it back to Lafayette. The protein in the eggs and Sheryl's good company encouraged me to get back on my bike and go back to Lafayette. 

Little did I know that we climbed up hill all the way to Moraga. It was a gradual incline all the way there. On the way back it was all down hill, YEPPIE that was fun! I had the wind in my face and I was going as fast as I could.  I was living life on the wild side now! I loved it, cold chills and all. We had to slow down to let a mama deer and her baby pass over the trail. Periodically, we would have to come to a complete stop when the trail and a road with cars intercepted.

Before I got home my dad called and said he wanted to go to Walmart.  I was so exhausted, but ok what am I going to do? I could barely walk- everything hurt.

When I got home I took a hot bath, a handful of Advil and crawled into bed. I can't wait to do it again!