Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone!

The good news: GG-GP got home last night.

Mr. & Mrs. F left for the deep south. :( boo hoo, I miss the little sprite. She sees it as a big adventure. Mrs. F says she will be home in April.

My dad came over last night and we watched the movie Babe. Remember that one? He loved it.
I went to bed at 10:00 last night, got up at 12:04 and gave my gig a low a kiss, and swiftly went back to bed.

It is a tradition to have black eyed peas on New Years Day, but I don't like black eyed peas. So we are having "ham hocks" and beans. (minus the hocks) So I guess I should say ham and beans. That is my tradition.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Pier 39 Sea Lions Gone

Where did the sea Lions go? All of a sudden they are gone. Literary tons of sea lions are missing in action.The news says the "fisherman are happy the seals are gone." Maybe that is it. The fisherman had something to do with it. Someone needs to call CSI. It is one thing when a few leave but when the heard leaves, that's kind of scary.

This is what I think. Everyone needs to get their emergency supply ready. Go get a generator like Blue Ridge Bloomer. The big one is coming Edith. I need to get more water.

What I need in this order

1. More water
2. A gun- side note: We would be out gunned by the gangs so I guess I need something a little more substantial. What that is I am not sure.
3. A generator
4. extra dog leashes

Sorry kitty and fishy your on your own.

The marine biologist say the sea lions are looking for food (they think.) I say the sea lions are leaving dodge because they sense doom. The seals would rather swim with the sharks, then stay safely on the piers and watch the tourist at Pier 39. I don't think so. I guess tonight they are 26 sea lions left. That freaks me out. I am hitting the red panic button.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Step Parenting is not for Weenies

I had a stepmother and I am a stepmother. I have lived both sides. All I have to say is step parenting is not for weenies or spineless jellyfish. I must also say being a step child is no cake walk.

The other night I had a long talk with a stepmother. She is in her late 70's. She is having problems with her step children in their 50's

This seems to be a common complaint from the step children:
  • The step parent favors the natural children (face it, it happens.)
  • The children want alone time with the natural parent
  • The child did not want the divorce or the death. There is bitterness, anger and/or jealousy on the child's part because the natural parent is divorced and remarried or a natural parent has died and a remarriage has happened.
  • The children feel unloved by step parent
  • The child feels like the step parent will not except them.
The step parent feels
  • Left out
  • like the step children and spouse are "ganging up" on step-parent or "taking sides"
  • unloved by step children
  • anger/hurt when step kids compares "real" parent with step parent. They will say things like my real mom doesn't make the bed like that or my real dad makes better garlic bread ect.
  • as if they are not respected by child (maybe by spouse and child)
Here is another problems that I have noticed talking with step parents.
Your rules and your spouses rules are different. That causes a HUGE problem.

Here are some things that I have learned over the years. Many will not agree with my views on step parenting. I was not and am not the perfect step mom. Did I try to practice what I preach? yes. Did I always succeed? no. What I do know is these things make a difference.

  1. Never talk bad about a natural parent to the child(en)
  2. Let the natural parent be the boss of the natural children especially when it comes to consequences. As a step parent you are already the bad guy. You and your spouse can talk alone about the consequence, but when the hammer comes down it needs to be from the natural parent.
  3. COME ON PEOPLE LET the children be alone with the natural parent! What are you afraid of? Are you so insecure in your marriage that you worry what they might say when they are alone with your spouse? If your spouse and the step children gang up on you.. I hate to tell you this, you need to go to a marriage councilor. I hear this argument from step parents all the time, "why should I have to leave my house when the step kids come over ?" I answer with a question .. does that mean your house it is not your step children's home also? Go do the dishes or watch tv in your room for an hour, or better yet send your spouse and your step child out to dinner or to a movie without you. In turn you can spend some time with your natural children. If you don't have any of your own kids, go out with a friend or better yet HAVE SOME ALONE TIME, read a book, sit by the fire, take the dog for a walk. Even if you do it once a month, it is better then nothing. But let the kids be alone with the natural parent for just a little while, no matter how old the kid is 6 or 60. If you can, try the reverse. Spend some special time with the step kids. Sometimes that does not work because the step kids are so resentful. But maybe when they grow up they will see you did the best you could.
A few months ago I had a conversation with a step child. I told them how sorry I was that Mom and Dad didn't work out. I tried to be the best step mom I could and I tried never to say anything bad about the "real" parent. I tried not to favor one child over another. Some times I blew it and I asked for forgiveness. I will never be the real mom but I really do love and care about all three of the kids.

I am excited to say that this step child and I are going out to lunch tomorrow. Just us two.

Monday, December 28, 2009

My Dad and Raider Baby's Church

When ever my dad goes to church I am happy. So when he deiced to go to Raider baby's baptism, I thought great. We had a pleasant drive. We drove by farmland, green rolling hills and windmills. The fog was high. When we got to the church it was like a family reunion.

Raider baby's church is very churchy. Stain glass windows, stain glass cross, an alter, pews, hymnals, a choir and offing plates. ( is that what you call them?) My church has none of these things. So for me its kind of fun. Very different then what I am used to. Some things are the same. A bulletin and a power point and a screen with what is going on at the church and lyrics to the songs. I guess the hymnals are just for looks now days.

I like to see the manor of dress (parishioner and pastors). I like to read the bulletin so I can see what is going on at that church. I always like to hear different preaching styles and look forward to learning something new.

Here is my dad's thought pattern:
I hate pews
I hate offering plates
All this fancy stuff the church spends money on, so what are they doing for the people in the neighborhood?
It's ok to glance at the bulletin.

My dad glanced at the bulletin here is a quote:
Total Monty Budgeted Amount Needed $17,000.00
Amount Received in November $12,710.43 (43 cents?)
Shortage for November $-4,289.57
December 6, 2009 $ 2,547.00
December 13, 2009 $4.782.00
December 20, 2009 $9,733.87

The Minster made mention with all the extra people at church (because of Raider Baby's baptism) they might have a chance at meeting the money goal in December.

That is all it took. My dad signed out. Clicked off. Did not want to hear/read/see anymore. Another money grubbing church. He started the rant while we where singing christmas carols. He talked about it on the way home. When we got home and he came in he ranted even more.

It makes me sad that he did not hear a word the pastor was saying because he had some good things to say. He was taking about looking back on your life and looking forward to the new year to come and your life. All my dad heard was GIVE THE CHURCH MONEY. He could not figure out why they needed that much. I am sure he is still talking about the greedy church today to everyone he runs across.

A Prayer For the Day

Dear God,

So far today I've done alright.
I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper
I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or overindulgent.

I am thankful for that.

But in f few minutes, God, I am going to get out of bed;
and from then on
I am probably going to need alot more help


( I do not know who wrote this)

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Raider Baby Special Day Photo's

Raider Baby got baptized today. (Sprinkled not dunked)
Here is Raider Baby and the Minister.

Look I have a frilly dress on!
49'er Dad, Raider Mom and Raider Baby

Proud Parents
Raider Dad & Mom

I am so glad to get out of that dress and put on
some normal clothes on.

Let's PAR- TAY

Friday, December 25, 2009

Christmas Day

I did not do much today. My gig a low and I took Christmas to the hospital. GG-GP seemed to be happy with his gifts. The Dr.'s are still waiting for the report from the biopsy of GG-GP kidney. GG-GP is on heparin drip now. He has a new "roommate." GG-GP says he has some "dietary concerns." He also warned us that he is going to be on steroids for a "short" amount of time. So he "might be" a little crabby.

I am working off the calories I have eaten by walking up and down 5 flights of stairs. Therefore, we went and had Chinese food for dinner.

Jeremiaha and her husband also stopped by the Chinese restaurant for dinner. It was the hot spot for Christmas meal.

We had "B" tea, hot and sour soup, mongolian beef, garlic shrimp and all the trimmings. It was delicious.

Family Christmas Album

Me, Dad, 1 Great Nephew and 1 Great Niece went to look at Christmas Lights

We got hungry so we thought we would eat at In & Out

Christmas Eve
Mrs. F & Jd

Mr. & Mrs. F with Army nutcrackers

Jd, A1, Dad, Mr.& Mrs. F

A1 still loves his legos

My dog gave us all a Christmas present

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas

I hope you have a Merry Christmas.


Blow Up Santa

Monday, December 21, 2009

GG-GP Update 12/21

The Dr's think the clots maybe coming from GG-GP's liver. I hope it is not cancer. I am worried. He is still in the hospital.

I know you all are tried of me saying it, but please pray for GG-GP (and my dad)

Thank you

Saturday, December 19, 2009

GG-GP Update

GG-GP has blood clots in his leg and lung. It was one big one that broke off and spread. He is lucky they did not get to his brain. GG-GP is still in the hospital.

My Blow Up Santa

I love my blow up Santa

Thank you

Mama Jane



GG-GP and another Hospital Adventure

GG-GP has not been nearly as hard to live with as I thought. Yes, he knows everything and if you tell him he is wrong, he will go to great lengths to prove he is right. It might take him a week to research what ever the dispute is, but he will "get er done." GG-GP wiil print out the right answer and casually lay it on the kitchen table. He has been a great help to me, sometimes he cooks, does the dishes and even vacuums. He helps me and my gig a low fix things. GG-GP was going to help me put up blow up Santa today.

For the last 3 days GG-GP has been awake all night. He has been going to bed about the time I get up. He said he was not feeling well. Yesterday morning around 4 A.M I heard GG-GP taking a shower. I thought that was strange. I got up at 5:30 am GG-GP was in the kitchen. I said to him, are you a vampire? He said No, I am going to the hospital. I am having alot of pain. I think I have a lung infection. I was surprised. It must be pretty bad if he was going to the hospital. GG-GP has no health care insurance. I said are you going to County hospital ? He said he was going to try the local hospital first. I woke my gig a low up and told him what was going on. I went on to work.

My gig a low does not do stress and sick people very well. Especially if your a loved one. SO I get a call from the ER around 10:30 am.. That GG-GP has a blood clot in his lung. My gig a low reassured me that everything was going to be ok and not to worry because my he had brought GG-GP three magazines to read.
  • 1996 Readers Digest that was still in the mailer - in "pristine" condition
  • Decembers issue of Better Homes and Gardens
  • A newsweek magazine from earlier this year
What? I was confused for a minute. You took 3 magazines to the hospital? yes. My gig a low repeated himself, so GG-GP can read them - my gig a low added because GG-GP has been admitted. Oh I understand now. I asked if either one of them needed anything because I was going to be gone all afternoon, well into the evening. I had many things to do. No, everything was fine.

When I got home about 7:00 pm. My gig a low was agitated. What's wrong? I asked him. He went on to tell me the hospital staff lost the 3 magazines. He was especially upset about the 1996 Readers Digest that was in pristine condition. I said how is GG-GP doing? Ok enough but my gig a low needed to find those magazines to give to GG-GP. I said ok lets go visit GG-GP, see if he wants us to take his car home. While we are there you can do a search and rescue for the magazines. I could tell those magazines were my gig a lows way to telling GG-GP that he was worried about him and that he cares about him.

When we got to the hospital ER, EVERYONE had a yellow surgical mask on. My gig a low masked up and started the search effort. I waited outside the ER because I did not want to put on a yellow mask. No luck. Therefore, it was time to look for GG-GP's room.

Outside the ER in the hospital, it was vacant. Like a ghost town. No hustle and bustle. After wondering around the inside of the hospital aimlessly for a few minutes we saw a Rent A Cop walking the halls. We asked him how to get to room 533. He directed us to the elevators. As you know I am not a big fan of elevators. GG-GP was on the 5th floor.

Walking up to the elevators my heart started to pound. I tried to calm myself down. I told myself I can do this. The elevator doors opened. It was one of those two sided door elevators. A nurse joined us on one side and on the other side 2 men with yellow masks got on. I was starting to hyperventilate. Everyone had pushed their prospective buttons but the elevator was not moving. That was it, I was jumping out of that thing. Just as I started my leap the doors slowly closed and we crawled to the 3ed floor. The doors opened I pushed my way past the two men in the yellow mask and got out of the elevator. Side note: So far their are only 2 people I have been able to ride the hospital elevator for
  • My Dad
  • Sis
Anyways me and my gig a low made it to the 5th floor. Almost instantly my gig a low went to the nurses station and demanded they find those magazines. GG-GP was obviously loaded. They were giving him morphine. He said he still had pain but didn't care. GG-GP asked me where is your gig a low? I said looking for the magazines.

The nurse came in so I asked about GG-GP's blood clot. How big, how many, where precisely are the clot(s) ? Where did it come from, what is causing it? The RN said "I don't know." Not realizing that I was a pro at this hospital Q & A thing. She added that I needed to talk to the doctor. I said are you telling me the doctor did not write anything down? I insisted answers and I wanted them right now. Reluctantly, the RN went and got GG-GP's chart. She asked GG-GP if it was ok for her to talk to me. (hospital commandment #3 )Yes. Just about that time my gig a low shows up with no magazines.

My gig a low said the nurse at the station was calling down to the ER and telling them to find the magazines, especially the readers digest. I thought to myself these poor nurses and what they have to put up with. I am sure down in the ER they have nothing better to do then to look for magazines. Although, my gig a low is coping the best way he can and they don't know that.

I had a lengthy conversation with the RN about GG-GP's condition. They will be running more test today. GG-GP has to stay still so the blood clot does not move and go to his brain. GG-GP was making me laugh with his morphine educed antics. My gig a low got GG-GP's keys. I took the stairs my gig a low took the elevator down.

I made it down 5 flights of stairs before the elevator reached to bottom floor. I was going toward the parking lot when I noticed my gig a low was going the other way. I said where are you going? He said I am going to the ER to recover the magazines. Sigh. I followed my gig a low to the ER where he masked up again. I watched through the window as he stopped to talked to the admitting nurses. He rummaged around the waiting room looking under newspapers and other items laying around with no avail. My gig a low sat down. I stood outside in the cold looking in.

After about 10 minutes a pretty red headed nurse showed up with 3 magazines. One still in the mailer. I could see my gig a lows eyes twinkling above his mask. Mission accomplished. My gig a low took off his mask and disappeared. He was taking the magazines up to GG-GP.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Super SUE-Prise

Today I drove slowly home from work making everyone behind me mad. I did not care. When I arrived home, I sat in the drive way and listen to the book "The Shack" for a little while. I got out of my car and into the house. The doggies were waiting for me with tails wagging. They are always happy to see me.

I looked at the pile of bills sitting on the top of the table. On top of the bills was a box addressed to me. I made a quick innovatory in my mind. Had I ordered anything on amazon?-no, I did not order anything. The package was addressed with a black sharpie pen. Did I buy something from ebay? no. As I got closer the return address said "Mama Jane and Sis." What a surprise, I was not expecting anything from them. I tore open the brown paper wrapping like it was Christmas morning at Mama Jane's house when I was a kid.

Tears welled up in my eyes when I discovered the treasure, it was pictured on the box. A BLOW UP SANTA. I have my very own blow up Santa. I am going to put him out side on the roof or in the yard. Mama Jane and Sis bought me a blow up Santa. I will have a decoration just like my neighbors. I can not keep the tears back even as I write this. I am so happy.

Mama Jane do you remember when you used to say SUE-PRISE? This was a Super SUE-PRISE.

Mama Jane and Sis .. you have been so good to me my entire life. I don't have the words to express my gratitude and gratefulness ( is that redundant ) anyways you have made my day! I am going to get blow up Santa outside and take photos and post them here on my blog. Mama Jane and Sis, I will keep blow up Santa always to remind me of the kindness you gave to me. Thank you, thank you !!!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


I have SO many things I want to tell you, but here is the BEST news of all. My dad can stop Chemo for now, YEPPIE, PRAISE GOD, I am so happy for him. Dr. C (my dad's chemo doctor) told him that he is 78 years old, he has gone threw 5 rounds of chemo. So it was ok if he stopped. She hopes the cancer will stay away for a "good long time" I like her. She is brutally honest in a soft spoken kind of way. My sister in law contacted Dr. Death to tell her the good news. I told my dad we will go to the Indian Casino to have a grand buffet to celebrate!!

My dad went to Taco Tuesday at the Moose Club. Then he came over to watch a Christmas movie. So far we have watched:
  • National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
  • White Christmas
  • A Christmas Story
  • Polar Express
  • A Nativity Story

I hope and pray my dad has a good Christmas this year. I hope and pray that his heart behaves its self until after Christmas.

My dad has been threw a living hell for the last 8 months. I pray he has some joy now!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

I am an Ass

Nicola's house was beautiful again this year. Nicola's 3 daughters were there. They were behaving themselves. . The gay daughter's partner had to work, so I said I would be her date for the night. (My gig a low hates parties) FT showed up with her husband and two very blond toddlers. When it was time for the "white elephant" gift exchange I got a box of chocolates. I mostly got the box of chocolates because of the beautiful wrapping that included a Christmas tree ornament. (Even though I don't have a Christmas Tree.)

It was FT's turn. She had her cute little snow white daughter come and get my box of chocolates. I did not care. It seemed to me FT was using snow white as a shield so no one would steal her gifts. Who would steal something from such a cute little girl and break her heart? Even though the chocolates were exactly what Mommy wanted. FT let snow white eat 3 of the candies just to make sure no one would steal the gift from her.

Therefore, it was my turn to get another gift. My friend had bought a blow up santa at the Thrift store for $10.00. So I went and got it. The lady didn't want the blow up santa so all was good.

This is where I lost my mind. I was so happy with the blow up Santa. Geeze, I would have a Christmas decoration to put up outside my house like my neighbors. Peoples where getting gifts and stealing them all around me. I did not care. I was daydreaming about blow up Santa in my yard or on my roof.

Guess what. At the end of the game, FT husband had #1 so he had the final pick. FT and her snow white daughter came and got my blow up Santa. All of a sudden I turned into a crazy woman. This came out of my mouth in an angry tone " You know FT I don't have any Christmas decorations, and now your taking this from me" I was pissed. I was thinking to myself you can go out and buy 20 blow up Santa's. . even worse I was acting just like she did last year. (except I did not have a baby to blame) Not only that I really did not want everyone to know the dismal state of my affairs at home. To late now the cat is out of the bag, I am an ass. FT gave me back the box of chocolates minus the 3 that snow white had eaten.

Nicola's husband said that he would of taken my box of chocolates if he would of known I got them back. I told him he could have them. He asked me if I wanted the PJ pants he got. Yes, it was a great trade for sure. I have them on now. I love them. My date for the night gave me her peach shower gel that she won. She said she did not like the peachy smell. So really I came out ahead.

On the way home I realized how wrong it was of me to want something that bad. I don't even have little kids at home. Never before have I acted that stupid over a gift that was bought at the thrift store. What can I do now? Nothing. Why did I act like that?

Maybe it was because I wrote the blog about FT last year. Paybacks are a mother!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Kindness Clusters

It never ceases to amaze me how good God is to me. It seems like when all the chips are down, and I am about ready to throw in the towel something really good happens. It seems like they happen in clusters. I call them kindness clusters. In one week all these good things happened.

1. Sheryl took me to see Wicked and out to dinner. We had great and deep spiritual conversation . We talked about life and death. She shared her Buddhist views and I shared my Christian views. On the light side, we talked about a getting dumped by someone you think you love.

2. I got a free hair cut, shampoo and hairstyle tonight at a new day spa. Thanks MK, your a doll! It was really fun talking to you while you cut my hair. MK just got married in July. She reminded me of the time when she and her first husband were breaking up. That must of been at least 8 years ago. MK said how she was in duress one night when she stopped by. I fed her soup, crackers and jello. I had to laugh, it is not much of a meal. But for MK it was just what she needed.

3. It snowed here. Yes, I took it personally. It brought joy into my life.

4. Comments on my blog - via email, phone call or post.

5. I won a raffle prize at the union's Christmas party.

I am always surprised when God moves. I am very grateful for this kindness cluster. Thank you for making it all worth it.


Just wanted to let you know I had a HOT SHOWER this morning! It was FANTASTIC!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Water Heater

On Thursday morning, I noticed my shower water was getting colder and colder instead of warmer and warmer. I jumped in really quick and took a fast shower. When I got home from work, my gig a low told me the water heater was out. He has had no work and he did not see any work in the future. Buying a new water heater would put a real strain on the budget. So he was going to try to fix it. On friday I took a cold shower before work. In the meantime the weather went from 70 degrees to a snow day. On saturday the shower was freezing cold, so I though it would be best to washed my hair in the kitchen sink.

I had to heat the water in the tea pot and pour the water into a cup and pour it onto my head. Trying to get the shampoo out was very inconvenient to say the least. Saturday was a very busy day, I felt satisfied to feel clean despite taking a shower so cold it made me gasp for air.

On Saturday night my gig a low said he was going to go buy the part he needed to fix the hot water heater on Sunday. So I would have to deal with not having hot water one more day. Ok - I can deal with it one more day.

Sunday was a very exciting day because Sheryl invited me to go see Wicked the musical. So I called my dad and asked him if I could take a shower at his house. On Sunday morning I went over to my dad's house and took a very warm shower. It felt so good. It is a well known fact that my dad is a miser. It is the family joke. I didn't care. I stayed in the shower and steamed up all the mirrors! It was grand. It was a sure bet that my dad was cauculting the cost of heating the water and how much water had been used. Did I let those worrisome thoughts get in my way? No. I stayed in that shower for a long time. The joy of hot water. Sheryl and I had a marvelous time and I was sparkling clean. I new when I got home the hot water heater would be fixed.

Wrong. No hot water heater. My sensors told me to delete the paragraph I just wrote. So I did. I am sorry you will not be able to read it. I guess it is better that way. It was disappointing news to hear I would not be taking a hot shower on Monday.

Monday I splashed freezing cold water on myself and did a do over with the tea pot and shampoo. I had a great day in the snow with the students.

This morning I was so depressed. I could not bare another cold shower. I had a bath in a pan on the stove. I dragged all day at work. I could not get my act together. The students said are we going swimming tomorrow? Not a chance, I was sick of being in cold water. I hope it rains or snows tomorrow so the students are not to disappointed.

When I got home from work today I saw the handy man's truck in the driveway. I prayed for good news. It was. He had got the part and the hot water heater was heating. I wanted to do a little jig. I get to take a hot shower tomorrow. I can't hardily wait!

Monday, December 7, 2009


Can you believe it? It snowed here. I think the last time we had snow in low- lying areas (not mountain tops) was back in 1998. When I got to work we asked the class if they have ever seen snow. 3/4 of them had not. So we went to the snow, it was down the street a couple of miles.

Just by chance I had my camera in the car. I don't know who was more excited me or the students. The students were so fun to watch, they make snow balls and the staff showed the students how to have a snow ball fight. The students have never heard the crunch crunch of walking in snow. They had never seen a snow man. It was great. I know for those of you who live in the snow are going to laugh at our snow. You are going to say that is just a heavy frost. For our class (and me) it really was a winter wonder land.

I love when my "inner child" is able to come out and play. I was able to forget about all my problems just for a little while. I even heard Malinda laughing today. I was happy about that because she has a plate full of problems herself. Miss Sunshine and Mr. Medic had big smiles on their faces. My teacher who once lived in Alaska seemed to enjoy watching the students. Here are some snow photos. The amazing thing was these photos where taking around 10:00 in the morning. The snow had stuck. It was so amazing there were news people all over the place. So I took a photo of Eric Thomas from ABC channel 7 news. I love the humming bird photo.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

What is in a Name

In the bible and in other cultures parents named their children for a reason. Not just because the name was on the top 10 name list that year. A baby born on the Mayflower was named Oceanus.
His name had a relevant to the voyage. As for me my name did not have any significance. I was not named after a loved one in the family, my folks did not give me my name for any "religious" reasons. My parents named me what they did because they liked the name.

Now that I have this blog, I can changes peoples name or leave them as they are. I like having that kind of control. Not only that Hospital commandment #3 is very important to me. I like it when someone's name has purpose or a meaning.

Sheryl means - dear one
Phoebe - bright
Malinda - sweet
My sweet Friend - amiable- friend

I am going to change my dear friends name to Jeremiaha. You might think I spelled it wrong. Let me tell you it is not a mistake. I want it that way. Why you ask? Because I can. I am the boss of my blog, so I can do what I want with no explanation.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

A Sad Day -GM's Birthday

Today was GM's Birthday. She and my dad got married when I was 14 years old. One year after my first mother died. Our relationship was rough for many years. I did not want another mother. I thought me and my dad would be fine. I did not need a "woman's influence" as my dad would say. When I was 29 years old I became a Christen I realized I needed to repair my damaged relationship with GM. I could look back and see how in her own way, she was a strong, independent woman. I asked her (and my dad for what it's worth) to forgive me for being literarily a terror. An unholy one at that. I asked her to stop talking about all the bad things I had ever done and to forgive me. She did. She never brought how rotten I was again. I learned to love and respect her. I admired GM as woman of strength. She was a head of her time. GM called me her "little country girl" I found that to be a great complement.

December 3, 2004, we gathered at Dad and GM's house to celebrate her birthday, and to put up Christmas decorations. She asked me to set up the Nativity because I was the "only one who knew where the pieces went." I was ecstatic that she gave me that honor. Although I knew (and she knew other family members knew how to set up the Nativity)

Her back was aching and she was planning on having surgery. The family was worried that she was not going to fair so well after a lengthy surgery.

We had a great celebration. It was fun putting up the stocking joking about who was going to get the coal and putting up the fake christmas tree. We sang Happy Birthday . But everyone in the family forgot their camera.

We all went home, dad and GM went to bed. I got a call early the next morning that GM was dead. I needed to get over to the house right away. I thought I was hearing things. How can she be dead? We just had her birthday party. How could this be?

She was still in bed in the same position she went to sleep in when I got there. She looked so peaceful. Our Grandma must of come to get her in her sleep. I stayed with her until the mortuary came and zipped her up in the body bag.

We had no photos of GM's last birthday. We didn't get to say goodbye and I love you.

The Christmas tree still had all her birthday presents under it, the stocking were hanging with care and the Nativity still had all the pieces in the right place. But our heart where broken and Christmas would never be the same again.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

A letter From Phoebe

I got this letter today from Phoebe. It made me cry. So I thought I would pass it on to you.

Hiya...God impressed upon me yesterday to call your dad and just ask up front if he had ever given his life to Christ and if no to talk to him about doing just that.

So I called him today and said I had heard the news about the heart etc., and he told me all the details etc. I told him I really liked his upbeat spirit about the whole situation as it had to be devastating news. He said the doctor changed some meds today and there is something the can give him once off chemo.

I told him I had two friends who recently had been diagnosed with congestive heart failure and they were doing much better since on the meds. Told him since his last treatment of chemo was end of December he could look forward to a new start in 2010.

THEN i said I dont know if you know about my son Jeff but he died in 2006 and the one thing that helps me on my days of missing him is that he is in heaven with God and I will see him again one day.

have you ever given your life to Christ? Have you ever prayed to ask him into your life? Well, no I haven't. I said well, he'd love to hear from you and say hi. LOL He said say hi huh .. I said yes, and tell you that he loves you and wants you in heaven and considering that you have all these health issues you might want to commit today.

He said my daughter talks to me about this and I have been thinking about it. I said well,,, maybe today .. this afternoon.. is the day to actually move on that commitment and just sit and talk to God. Ask Him to come into your life and thank Him for dying for you so that one day you too can spend eternity in the kingdom of God. I then added that it would also be a great gift for (me) to know that one day she would be with her dad again.

He said he would be thinking about this again this no commitment yet, but I am praying today is the day of his salvation. to God be the glory!!!

love you sistah