Hard to Say Good Bye

MaMa Jane died today at 2:09. 

MaMa Jane

This is very hard to write. MaMa Jane is dying. I am thankful I have have the chance to tell her that  I love her, and tell her she was a very good mom.

MaMa Jane loved me and I knew it. Even during my most reckless and rebellious times. She has alway been kind and a great role model.

To see most all my foster family at the hospital  is a testament to what a good mother and grandmother she has been.

I am thankful even during these very difficult times that I can hang out with my foster family.

Just a few days go before she ended up in the hospital we were talking about coloring my hair. I said I was not sure if I wanted to depending on the bottle again. Mama Jane  encourage me to color my hair. So I asked her when I got to the hospital what color I should put in my hair. She reached up and touched my hair and said red.

Most likely the next time you see me I will have red hair.

On Friday even though she was in ICU she was still worried about who had enough to eat or who was hungry. She wanted to make sure everyone had enough sleep. My foster brother and foster nephew said MaMa Jane "light" up when I walked into the room.

Earlier today MaMa Jane said PaPa was there to get her. But MaMa Jane said that PaPa was "just going to have to wait"

This is some segments of what I wrote about MaMa Jane 3 years ago.

There are some people on this earth who should never be a mother and some people who should be everyones mom. I would nominate MaMa Jane to be everyones mom. MaMa Jane just knows how to love kids. She knows how to make them feel like they are special and that every child has value.

MaMa Jane took me in and treated me like one of her own. She stuck by me even when times were rough.

She was there for me before my mother died and after. She loved me and cared for me and fed me. Gave me a safe place to live. She showed me that adults can and should have fun.

Jane was multi faceted cool. Christmas time at my foster family's was filled with joy . There was so much chaos with so many kids. MaMa Jane always had a stocking filled with goodies and presents for me. She bought us kids the latest toys that were popular at the time. One year she bought me a “Simon.” I loved that toy.

Another thing that made MaMaJane so cool was that she listened to KFRC (pop rock) with us. She knew all the singers and knew the words to all the popular songs. 

Every one knows moms are not supposed to curse. The first time me and my foster sister heard her say sh*t we ran. She was not mad at us kids, she was mad at the check book.

MaMa Jane made us kids really good food to eat. Some of my favorites were fried Bologna, chicken sandwiches from a crock pot, corn meal mush in a loaf, pancakes that were as big as the frying pan, a pasta and ground beef dish that she called Marzettie. She would make this really good salad, that has a cheesy dressing. YUMMY! She let us eat candy and potato chips. She made the best homemade chocolate chip cookies. Me and My foster sister loved to eat raw cookie dough. MaMa Jane would tell us eating raw cookie dough would give us worms, hoping to keep us out of the mixing bowl. The thought of worms never slowed us down. We would still get our fingers in the batter and lick the spoon. I told my kids they would get worms if they ate raw cookie dough. It never stopped them either.

If anyone ever complained about me and my foster sister doing something wrong she would say “Oh no my girls would never do anything like that". I remember how good she made me feel, she stuck up for me even though I really didn’t deserve it. MaMa Jane said good things about me, even when other people were not. 

I know that the Angels are there waiting Mama Jane to take you home. Remember no more pain, no more suffering. You will be free.

Baby Quilt Finnished

Here is the finished baby quilt. 

Made by me, the soon to be Reckless grandma.

As you can see I changed the binding color. I love the blue Minky on the back!

I am so happy with it. 

Thank you Dahlia for encouraging me and helping me.

The Weather Today

Good news for former kgo listeners, Weather reporter Lloyd Lindsay Young has been added to KKSF 910 AM!
HELLOOOOOO Lloyd Lindsay Young! We missed you! Welcome back!

Baby Quilt Top

 

The baby quilt top is done! The green is going to be the binding (I might changed that) and the blue minky is going to be the back. This is the first time I have done pinwheels. Thanks to Dahlia (Master Quilter) who helped me through this process. I did the pinwheels without screaming, crying or having a temper tantrum.  Dahlia was there for me, helping me and guiding me, being a great mentor.

Raido Talk Show Hosts

Update many former kgo talk show host are now on 910 am KKSF. Here is the schedule.

Len Tillem ( I'm a Loyah)  Monday - Friday 3-4 pm

Gil Gross Monday - Friday 4-7 pm

Dining Around Saturday 10:00 am - 1:00 pm 

Leo Laporte the Tech Guy Sunday 1:00 - 4:00 pm


Dr. Bill Wattenburg Sundays 8:00 - 11:00 PM


YEY!!!

The Fire Inside

I just got home from a holy roller type prayer training. First let me say I loved it. My spirit jumped with joy to be around like minded people. This prayer training was not sipping milk, it was eating meat. It "tasted" good. There was so much to digest.

So at the end the leaders prayed over us, as a group and individually. When the teacher/leader/pastor prayed over me, he said the word FIRE. This is the second time the word has been spoken out over me. Last time was quite a few years ago.  No one else got the word FIRE. So now I am thinking there must be something to this ;).  What is God trying to tell me? I know God would not use fire in a bad or destructive way it this case. When the bible talks about fire, what does it mean? 

What the bible says about fire...hum let me see...

Sacrifices - 

all consuming, 

transforming   

Cooking
Warmth

Weapon of war

Death penitently

Light

God's presents and power

Gods word

Trials or misfortunes

Did I miss any? 

I am going to have to sleep on this and see if God gives me more information.

Update: Yes I do know that the fire was about this time.  I think that is between me and God. 

It's a Boy

I know I said I would NEVER make another quilt. As it turns out I am going to be a grandmother in late August. It's a BOY!  Here is a photo of the fabric I picked out. The back is going to be the bottom blue minky! 

I will update as I go along. 

Milestone For Rader Baby

Here is a story from Raider Momma about Raider Baby.  Some family came in from out of town, so this afternoon they went for a walk over the Golden Gate Bridge.

(The bridge) was so windy and LOUD!! The traffic sound was awful!!! We could hardly hear each other speak!! All of a sudden..... THAT SCREAM!!!! That scream that only comes from absolute horror!!! EVERYONE AROUND US FROZE!!! I looked at Raider Baby and I knew!! I actually screamed NOOOOOOOO!!!! Yep. The wind blew her nuk out of her hand and off the bridge.
 
We're debating replacing it because it was a tragic & unexpected loss, it was not 'you're a big girl, this is over' situation.
 
She cried at bedtime saying we needed to go back and rescue her nuk with a boat. 

I had to pay pink nuky her due respect :0)

I Hate Jocks

Today at lunch time I went into the break room. There was only one other person in there, THE JOCK.
We have a fair weathered conversation. The only problem is the only thing he can talk about is sports.
The conversion went something like this.

Jock: Do you know who Peyton Manning is?
me: yes
Jock: What do you think about his move?
me: I think he has a thing for horses
Jock: what
me: I think he has a thing for horses because he went from a Colts to the Bronco
Jock: Oh I bet your one of those people who pick teams based on the mascot or jersey color
me: No I said, I pick a team based on statistic (jack ass)

Thank you for reminding me why I hate jocks.

Used Pajamas

The other day Malinda and I went to the thrift store. We usually go there once a week. I love to look at the china and tea cups, the nick nacks and dust collectors. Malinda was looking for pajamas for her mother. She showed me this pair of flannel Pj's. I thought they looked nice. How much I said. $9.00 Malinda replied. No way $9.00 for a pair of used pajamas. There must be some kind of mistake. 

We took the pjs to the young cashier, I said how much? $9.00. Malinda said lets go ask someone else. We went and found the old lady who is usually always there. Excuse me can you tell me how much these pjs are? $4.50 for the top, $4.50 for the bottoms, we sell them separate. I said are you kidding me? That is outrageous, poor people can't even shop in the thrift stores anymore. The lady just stared at me. 

So today while I was out with Jasmine and Fuchsia we stopped by a fancy smancy thrift store in Stone -Brook. I found a set of flannel woman's pajamas in very good condition. The price $4.50. So I asked the cashier is that for both pieces? Yes. 

Moral of the story, it is better to be poor in an affluent area.  

St. Pat Cheese, Cowgirl Creamery

I have been so excited to try Cowgirl Creamery St Pat cheese. A The Cowgirl Creamery is a local cheese maker. At long last I got a round today.

This is one of the first spring cheeses that the Cowgirl Creamery makes. They describe it as a semi-soft with with a bloomy rine. The rine has been aged in nettle leaves (don't worry they take the poison out) leaving you with a "smoky artichoke" aftertaste. The cheese has a beautiful deep green and white rine.

I would describe this cheese as fresh, clean like a spring day after it rains. It is light with a slight salty taste. As far as the nettle leaves to me tasted mildly grassy. My gig a low says it tastes like "happy cow." My dad says "it doesn't taste like much does it."

I think this would be the perfect cheese to go with St. Patrick's day dinner. I think it would be good on Irish soda bread that has raisins and nuts in it. To bad we had our St. Patrick's dinner yesterday!

Generally speaking, my family prefers a more robust cheese. For those of you who like mild, mellow this is the cheese for you.

Cute Leopard Slippers

This sunday I decided to cut church and stay home. I crawled out of bed, I took a shower, did not comb my hair, no make up. I put on my hot pink thermal top, my camouflage pajama bottoms, and my leopard print mule style slippers. I vacuumed and did various other chores around the house. I was happy. 

About 1:00 PM my cell phone rang. Here is the conversation -  Hello, Hello this is life alert, who, Life alert. Is this RQ? Yes, your father pressed his life alert button, we tried to call him 3 times, he is not responding so we are sending an ambulance. You are sending an ambulance? (I was really thrown off by this) Yes the ambulance is on the way to your dad's house. Oh my thank you. I called by brother and sister in law because they live closer. They said we will meet you there. 

I jumped in my car, leopard slippers and all, I broke the sound barrier to get over to my dad's house, fully expecting to find him laying in a pool of blood or worse. I beat the ambulance. I unlocked the door, DAD, DAD...I go to the back of the house, look in the bed rooms and bathrooms, DADDDD, not there, go to the front of the house look in the living room, his car is in the garage, DAD... I hear the sirens getting closer, now I know he must of fallen out by the woodshed, I peek out the back door , there stands my dad in his wood shop, sawing away.

I open the door and yell DADDDDD, he is sawing a piece of wood so he can't hear me. I hear the sirens they are very close now, DAD!!! He turns off his saw and says OH hi. OMG dad the life alert people think there is something wrong and the ambulance is on the way. WHAT! my dad says. I said you accidently pushed your button now they are sending help. Profanities start spewing out of my dad's mouth.

I ran in the house to get to the front yard before the medical people show up, my dad right behind me. My dad takes off his life alert and throws it across the room still cursing like a drunken sailor. I get out the front door my brother and family show up. My brother and Sister in law take my dad back in the house. 

The fire department is first to show up. I tell them oops sorry it was an accident no help needed, the fire truck driver rolls his eyes,  the ambulance shows up. I had totally forgotten what I had on tell I looked down and noticed my leopard slippers. Oh well, what am I going to do. I apologize to the fire and ambulance people and go back in the house. 

My dad was having a complete melt down. Thankfully my brother seems to have a calming effect on people. My sister in law convinced my dad that this incident was a great trial run and now we know everything works. I called the Life Alert people and arranged it so that they call me first before they call for medical help. He promised he would continue to ware his life alert. 

I went home and took a nap, knowing that my dad was ok. 

Mammogram

The other month I had to go get a mammogram.  I arrived, and registered, and sat down near the front desk. There was a waiting room full of anxious women.

I noticed a huddle of nurses behind the front desk. They were trying to talk quietly, but I could still hear them. Nurse 1 was saying what should I do?  Nurse 2 was saying tell her she has to leave, Nurse 1 says I can't do that, nurse 2 says you have to, mumbling from the others. Nurse 1 stomps off.

The next thing I know there is a young woman standing in front of me at the desk sobbing, begging Nurse 2, please I have a big lump in my breast, please help me, Nurse 2 sorry you don't have any insurance, Please I am so scared, what am I suppose to do? Sorry can't help you, sobbing even more, please ... Nurse 2 interrupts- your insurance is no good anymore I called and checked. You will have to leave now. The sobbing young lady leaves. The waiting room was silent.

My heart broke for that woman. I have to wonder how many other women this happens to every day.

Summer

The other day I went to Target to buy a small room heater. I couldn't find any. I asked an employee if she knew where I could find one. She said " we don't sell heaters in the summer." I said that I did not realize that March 2 was summertime. Although I can see why she may think this is summer.


Anyone feel the earthquake this morning? No one here did. We all slept though it even the dogs.

Socialized Medicine

Sorry it has been a LONG time. Here is an update.

I continue to battle with Kaiser about dad. Around October the oncologist told my dad he had to have his port taken out because it was clogged. 

We went to Dr. Ratchet is oncologist. She was setting up the appointment to get the port removed, not giving my dad any choices. I said wait a minuet Doctor Ratchet., is there any other options? 

You may recall that when they put the port in the "simple 15 minute surgery" took 15 hours, my dad nearly bleed to death, he got a blood clot in his juggler vain and an infection. The doctor turned her chair around looked at me and said "anytime you access that port you are inviting infection." 

I said to Dr. Ratchet, Dr. you cannot tell me that is the same thing." Dr Ratchet turned back to her computer and said "Your dad is going to die anyways, so we are going to take the port out." EXCUSE ME DR.? Your dad's cancer is going to come back and it is going to be very bad, he is going to die, there is no need to have the port in." Now not only am I shocked, I am pissed. Dr. Ratchet when did you become God? just saying'. HE NEEDs TO GET THAT PORT OUT HE IS GOING TO DIE THE CANCER IS GOING TO KILL HIM. Are you kidding me, what are out options Dr. Ratchet? NO OPTIONS. Are you telling me there is not one other thing you can do to see why the port is clogged? Your dad is 81 years old (still looking at the computer) HE IS GOING TO DIE. I am so mad now I want to strangle Dr Ratchet. Dr, tell me again there is NOTHING you can do for him? Well, we can give him a dye test to see why the port is clogged. Ok how about if we try that first DOCTOR.

Look we all know my dad is going to die, so are you, so am I. How dare Dr. Ratchet treat my dad as if he is a death row inmate waiting for the execution. 

We go in for the test, the nurse gets the port unclogged first try. She says I am going to go tell Dr. Ratchet. (heheh)

December my dad's blood test came back, his tumor markers were high. They gave him a CT scan, they could not find the cancer.

For all you people who are worried about a "socialist" type medical system and "death squads," I am here to tell you they already exist. It is called Kaiser. My dad has obviously used up his allotted life time Kaiser dollars and they no longer want to care for him.

When we left I told my dad that God is the only one who knows when your number is up. 

Not Doctor Ratchet.

Cooking Dinner - How Hard Could It Be? (update)

What goes into making the simplest dinner? Ok lets think about it. After a long day at work I need to:

• Plan the menu for the week (or decide last minute) what I am going to have for dinner.
• Check pantry, refrigerator and freezer to see if I have the right ingredients. 

No I don't have what I need. 

• Make a shopping list so I don't forget what I need to buy. Most of the time I leave the shopping list sitting on the kitchen table. 
• Drive to Safeway and pay the big bucks (it is a closer drive) or WinCo and save half my money.
• Sit in traffic on the way to Safeway or WinCo.
• Find a parking place.
• I have to watch out or I will be killed by crazy drivers trying to get out of the parking lot or get the perfect parking place.
• Go to the shopping carts. 
• I get one that wheels wobble, drag, make horrid noises and/or veers to the left or right. 
• The handle is nasty, it feels grimy when I put my hands on it.
• Try to get in the front door of the grocery store. People coming out the in door, people standing around reading the new ad. People trying to rush around you who don't have a cart. Please just GET OUT OF MY WAY.

For my recipe I need to buy 3 things. BBQ sauce, French fried onions and grated Parmesan cheese.

I go to the BBQ sauce aisle. 

• there are two people going opposite directions blocking the entrance to the aisle with their shopping carts.
• I cannot squeeze by them. 
• I loudly say PARDON ME as I push through the tiny space between the two.
• I zig zag around people who are looking for their own stuff.
• Phew, I made it to the BBQ sauce. 

• make a decision, do I want the cheap brand or, do I want the one that is on sell, or best tasting one.

Getting all three is like hitting the jackpot.

• take the item off the shelf and put it in my shopping cart.

• pick up some items I did not intend to buy and put in cart, reasoning with myself - that way I will not have to come back to the grocery store as soon.

• go stand in line to check out.

Fight with myself about going to the self check out (the computers are taking jobs away from real employees) or stand in the other line and wait for a real clerk. 

• the person in front of me is having some kind of problem. Wait and wait, move into a different checkout line.
• I Put the items in my basket on the conveyor belt. 
• Watch cash register to make sure I get the correct price.
• If I use my ATM, hope and pray there is not a scanning device that has been planted by the ID theft guy.
• Pay the computer or the person, make sure I get the right change.
• If I go to  WinCo , I have to bag my own grocery while the long line of people behind you wait and stare me down.
• go back in the parking lot, see above. 
• Get to my car, two cars coming from different directions are waiting impatiently for my parking place.
• Take the groceries out of my cart and put them the our car.
• get in my car
• check both ways make sure no one is backing out or trying to go around the cars that are waiting for my spot. Watch out for people who are walking behind the car.
• Close your eyes, put the car in reverse and back out. 
• Back on the road to sit in traffic. 
• Get home unload the groceries. 
• Put any extra stuff I bought away.

Time to make dinner.

• 10 min prep, 25 min cook time.
• Start the cooking side dish, make a salad, put the fruit on the table. Get drinks ready. (We drink hot tea in the winter)
• Set the table
• make sure everything gets done in a timely manner so it will be hot when you eat it.

Sit down for a simple dinner.

GiG A Low Quote

"every year I get a new set of initials" (things that are 'wrong' with him)

Family Update

Readers Digest Version

1. My dad fell and cracked his head on the dinner table. Had 6 stitches.

2. Mrs. F will soon be Mrs. "x" F

3. More stuff with Mrs "x" F that I do not have permission to talk about here.

4. GG-GP is going to Memphis to compete the World Blues Contest

5. I went to the Fancy Food Show in SF with "A" and his new girl friend LG.

6. JD is going to Ireland. 

Family Dinner

I have a "family dinner" once a week. 3 out of the 5 people who usually are here only want to talk about themselves.

Local Gym Part 1

Jasmine and I have been going a the neighiborhood gym. I would call our time at the gym casual. Its good we get to ride the bikes and catch up on whats going on in our lives. Therefore, I guess I would have to say our time at the gym is more social. 

I was comfortable at this gym because it has a good mix of people. Young, old, fat, skinny and everything in-between. 

The gym has personal trainers. When you first join they give you a free personal training session. So I thought it would be fun to try it. I got a boot camp drill sergeant I will call Fuzzy. 

I tell Fuzzy, I will not do any floor exercises. Fuzzy did not like me telling him what I would not do, after all he is large and in charge. So I was punished the rest of our time together. Fuzzy puts me on one of the weight lifting machines. I admit my upper body is weak. So I do 3 lifts (I don't know what to call them) 

Fuzzy start screaming at me to "PUSH UNTIL YOU FAIL" what ? "YOU NEED TO FAIL" umm I don't want to fail Fuzzy. GO GO GO GO UNTIL YOU FAIL. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ok I am done. Fuzzy is screaming IS THAT ALL YOU CAN DO? DO MORE  UNTIL YOU FAIL. Look Mr. Fuzzy, I am not used to failing. I am used to succeeding. MORE MORE MORE. Ok Fuzzy, why do you like to be mean to old ladies. IF YOU WANT TO SUCCEED YOU HAVE TO FAIL. ok. 1,2,3,4,5. I can't lift anything any more, I failed. Are you happy now Fuzzy? Oh you have a smart mouth Fuzzy says. What the heck. Ok I am done with you Fuzzy.

Every time I would go in the gym after that Fuzzy would not even look at me. I did not care. I watched him punish other people. He is gone now. I haven't seen him in months.

I noticed they were having a special at the gym the other day. Another FREE training session. Ok I guess I will try it again. This time I requested the lady who looks to be about my age. She was very nice. She set up this whole program with me doing push up, being on the ball , doing things in front of the mirror. 

I don't want to get on the floor, or be on the ball because they are dirty. Ewwww. I don't like looking in the mirror. I don't get it why anyone wants to watch themselves work out. For me its a discouragement. She had me using rubber bands and dumb bells. I told her I could do this stuff at home. (I could , but I don't think I would)

I kind of went along with her program, although I would not use it on a regular basis. I like Fuzzy's work out program better, especially when he is not there screaming at me. 

I Heart Raido Len Teiliem / Gil Gross KKSF

Today Len Teiliem  (the loyer) will be on 910 AM KKSF from 3:00 - 4:00 PM. He will answer all your legal questions. YeY
From 4 to 7 PM Gill Gross will be on YEY! 
I hope Gene Burns has a speedy recovery! 
If you are not in your car during those hours you can listen on your computer or iphone. 
http://www.iheart.com/

GO TO HELL CUMULUS MEDIA

Now I am hearing Gene Burns had a mild stroke on Thursday. Dam you Cumulus for the stress you put Gene Burns and the other former KGO hosts through.

Cumulus Media I will NEVER knowingly patronize anything you have to do with.

Gene Burns & Len Teiliem on KKSF

Starting tomorrow Gene Burns and Len Teiliem, former employees of KGO, will now be on KKSF 910 am radio.

Len Teiliem is a "Loyah" who will be answering legal questions  3 PM to 4 PM Monday - Friday. Len has a no nonsense approach. One day I turned on the radio to hear Mrs. F talking to the "loyah" about a car accident she had. Who knew, I sure didn't.

Gene Burns will be on from 4 Pm  to 7 PM. He will talk about news of the day or what ever is on his mind. The talk show extraordinaire will have his "Dining Around" show on
Saturdays 10 AM to 1:00 PM.

I am so HAPPY!!! I can't wait to hear them again! YEY!!!

Just say NO to KGO!!!

KKSF ROCKS! I mean TALKS!

What I was Thinking at Church Today

It is good to see familiar faces and some new ones, who is that sitting with the pastors wife?

The christmas trees still look pretty.

I like it when the worship leader plays acoustic guitar. Eddie Van Halen is the best guitar player in the world, I hope I get to go see Van Halen. 

I like this worship song, I think it is about dyeing to self. 

When is the music going to be over? 

Mrs G looks so cute today.

Matthew AGAIN. Haven't we been in Matthew for the last 8 months? 

Pastor is funny, he is really self revealing. 

Demon possessed boy, there is a movie with a demon posessed mom, I saw the advertisement last night. 

I do not ever see any cobwebs in this church, I look every week. There is a cobweb at home that I need to get.

Faith of a mustard seed, that is encouraging. Moving mountains, I bet there would be a big earthquake. 

Bla Bla Bla, I don't want to listen anymore. 

What am I going to make for dessert? Yes, sugar free banana pudding with bananas and vanilla wafers for dad, chocolate pudding for me and my gig a low.

Am I on the right path or is God saying recalculating.  

Can't everyday be a new year? A fresh start? Why do we have to wait until Jan 1? 

I need to call Shorty its her birthday today.

Pastor is going on and on. I can tell you have "gone over" I feel restless.  

Pastor has really grown over the years, he is real. He can't fake who he is. 

I think I will close my eyes. What if I snore during church? 

Better keep my eyes open. 

List the people I need to pray for.

I like this little church. 

Yey, time to go home.