Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Because Malinda Told Me To

Here is a story that Malinda wanted me to tell you.

My co-workers and I went to the Hole In The Wall diner after we all got our jobs back. It was me, Malinda, Trippy Hippy, Power Mom, Lodi, and my x Mormon friend.

We got a table and order coffee. A few of my friends ate brunch. We were whooping it up, laughing and carrying on. This old man who was sitting behind us said he wished he was in our group. He said he enjoyed hearing the laughter. Really we were making a ruckus. We told the old man he could come and sit with us, but he declined.

Mrs. Wall was our waitress. She came up to our table and said I am in big trouble, we said why? Mrs. Wall said you see that couple over by the window? She said to the young man at the table, It is so nice of you to bring your mom to our little restaurant. The young man said to Mrs. Wall, that is not my mother that is my girlfriend. OOPS. We almost broke our necks trying to look and see the couple.

We all ordered a second round of coffee. When we got the bill we were shocked to see we were charged for the second cup of coffee. We called Mrs. Wall to the table, we told her we thought the second round of coffee was free. She said just like Mr. Wall, he always thinks he is going to get sex. It is not always true. She took the bill and only charged us with the first round of coffee. (did I get this part right Malinda?)

Friday, August 27, 2010

Guess Who

Guess who drove down my street today? The Ice cream man, in his blue and white ice cream truck. I was in my car when I spotted him at the other end of the street. I have not seen an ice cream truck in my neighborhood in a very long time! I started waving my arm out the car window. I did not want the ice cream man to escape.  When he got close enough I double parked, jumped out of my car and ran over the the window of the ice cream truck. Do you have Choco Tacos? yes. I will take 3. I bought one for me, my gig a low and GG-GP.

Three Choco Tacos cost $7.50.  I didn't care. I was so happy! Me and my gig a low ate ours after dinner. Yummy!

Thank you God for Choco Tacos and the ice cream truck! What a treat!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

My Confession (PG-13)

I had a really good day today. Everything at work was perfect. It was only 86 degrees. Fuchsia stopped by to show me her lovely new beach cruiser. It has black spokes and flowers on the frame. It has a wicker basket and sea foam green wheels with white wall tires. It really seems like the perfect bike for Fuchsia.

So I said to my gig a low, do you want to go get a Choco - Taco? It just seemed like the a grand way to end a great day.

So we go up to the corner liquor store. There was no place to park in the parking lot, so I pulled along side of the store. I noticed a car pulling in behind me. My gig a low says STOP here. Ok fine. I get out of my car and skip to the front door anticipating a Choco Taco.

I start visually scanning the little freezer, thinking about the waffle cone shaped like a taco shell, the vanilla ice cream filling, the chocolate and nut topping,,,, When I hear F___ You, Female Dog. It was the guy who had pulled up behind me.

The next thing I know I am in the guys face, 2 inches away from his nose staring directly into his beady little eyes, I said bleep bleep you bleeping bleeper. It was like time warp speed. What just happen here? I was praying that he would hit me, to give me a chance to female dog slap him to places unknown. Mr. tough guy saying FU to and old woman.  How dare he rain on my parade.

I said a few more things before I got control of myself. What Would Jesus Do?...certainly not call him a scrawny little bleep  bleep.  I had to walk away.

I lost it and so fast. My gig a low asked if I wanted him to get out of the car and take out a can of woop ___? No, I said as I drove away, I could do any wooping that needed to be done. I left without a Choco Taco.

So I called my sweet friend when I got home to confess my sin. She started laughing... what.. She was laughing hysterically. She said it deserved him right. Yes, it was an inconvenienced that he had to go around my car and park further away from the front door, but that did not give him the right to cuss at me. My sweet friend said she wished she could of been their to see me in action. So much for my confession.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Biker To Biker

Today I went on a 17 mile bike ride. It was called the "Napa Loop." I have been to Napa many times. In my head I was thinking of the Napa Valley. You know, a valley, a flat piece of land surrounded by mountains. Have you ever heard of the Valley of the Moon? That is what I picture when I hear Napa, even though that is in Sonora. ...

I almost chickened out last night, I called Dehlia and said, you know I have been reading about this ride. It says it has some "rollers" (rolling hills), and it says there is not a bike path, and it says you will be riding on the street with cars. Dehlia seemed to think we would get in and out of Napa before all the drunk people got on the road. I worried about blind curvy country roads that cars really get pissed off that your riding your bike on. Dehlia said it would be "fun" and it would be an "adventure." She knows I love adventures.  I said maybe we should go over the Golden Gate Bridge. Dehlia convinced me that I would love this ride.  Ok........Dehlia was even going to get up at the crack of dawn to go on this ride. Ok...I said again, really not to sure about this whole idea.

So we meet up with the bike group we were joining for this "adventure" at a strip mall grocery store in Napa. It was a cold, foggy, drizzly February August morning. I looked around at the people and thought, uttt oh, I think I am out of my league.

We rode a little ways, turned left and behold Mt. Everest. Dehlia never mention we where going to the Himalayas. You mean I am riding my bike up the side of a mountain? I thought it said "rollers" Ok here I go...

I started huffing and puffing.  The other bicyclist flew by me like I was standing still. Half way up I started having a panic attack. I jumped off my bike and tried to continue the climb. I couldn't breath, the altitude was to high. Every breath felt like my last. My heart was pounding out of my chest, I could almost see it. Then I was on the verge of crying, I hate being a loser and I felt like a loser. Then from behind me I hear a beautiful voice "these are a few of my favorite things" It was Dahlia singing songs from the Sound Of Music. She was trying to get my mind off my frail medical condition. Daliah was saying Oh look at the vineyards aren't they pretty, oh look at the quail. I couldn't see anything at this point because my eyes were blurred. I was looking straight up the side of a mountain. I started begging God to have mercy on me and just kill me.  My legs started burning as if someone had set them on fire. Are we there yet?

Can I go home? Something inside me said your not a quitter, now get up that "mountain !!!" I made it to the top. Not in an ambulance, on my own accord (with encouragement from Dehlia.)  I was just starting to get a little oxygen to my brain and it was time to go down Everest. WEEEEEE, I love going down hill. I was like a speeding bullet. Dehlia chimed in to say we were going about 25 mph. I loved it.  I open my mouth hoping to get some more air are in, because I was still a little short of breath. Ok, this is good. If we can go downhill the rest of the way, I would be happy! No such luck. At the bottom of the mountain the rollers started.

Up, down, up, down. The problem is there was more up then down. The group would stop and wait until I caught up then they would move on, so really I never had much of a break.  I was still short of breath, my head starts pounding.  I start thinking, my brain is going to explode any minute. I tell Dehlia, my head is throbbing so hard it is going to knock my helmet off.

Along with Dehlia this very kind man named Bob lagged behind with me. Bob kept saying, one more hill and it is going to be flat, just one more hill. After about the 5th time, I told him, I don't believe you anymore Bob. As I started to climb another roller my chained "popped" off. Bob was kind enough to put it back on for me. I was at the bottom of a roller. I had to start the assent from a dead stop.  I had to get off my bike AGAIN and finish the climb.

I began the acceptance stage of my situation. I can't keep up, I am really out of shape, Bob and Dehlia are with me, that is just the way it is. Then I started to have fun. I started to notice all the vineyards. The ruby read grapes looked lovely on the vine. Some grapes had netting over them, some had mylar strips blowing in the wind. I kept hearing this sound that sounded like a shot gun. Bob and Dehlia told me it was some sort of propane gizmo  that makes banging noise. All to protect the grape vines from birds and varmints.

I started to notice the smell of elm trees. I saw beautiful mansions and winery's that were open for tasting.  Bob joked about stopping. I started to notice we were on a curvy country road, and cars were getting pissed off.

The group was waiting for us at the bottom of a roller at a flat T in the road. Dehlia, Bob and I joined the group. Just about that time I see this flash of red zooming down the hill. Someone in our group said, its the Napa Falcons. Apparently, they are well known in the area. They all had red and white shirts with red and white bike helmets. They went around us at lightning speed. The testosterone lingered after they were long gone.

Bob said it was only a few more miles until the resting point. I was so happy to hear that. At the 10 mile point we stopped at a fruit stand and country store, The little store was full of fancy olive oils and cliff bars for the bicyclist. All the bicyclist stop there. This stop was the Sturgis of the bicycle world. The falcons and a bunch of other groups where all there along with our group.

That is when I noticed many of the bicyclist had on these modified golf shoes. The shoes went click, click, click as the bikers walked in and out of the store.  The shoes "cling" on to the peddle. I guess these bicycle shoes help with the "up" when your peddling. We had a good rest. I chug a luged a bottle of water. Everyone was complaining how cold it was and how we have had no summer. I loved the cold weather. As we were resting, I started thinking I have gone from Biker to Biker in my life. Bob told me we were almost back to the starting point. I just smiled because I knew he was lying to me.

I was the very last one back to the starting point. I was still huffing and puffing. But I made it! I was so happy I did it. I had to swallow my pride and tell myself I know many people who could not of made this trip. I was not a quitter. I want to thank Dehlia and Bob for encouraging me all along the way.

Now that I look back on my day I can say it was fun and an adventure. Will I go back anytime soon? No way.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Just Because

I know of  Christian's who are alcoholics/drug addicts.
I know of Christian's who have cheat on their spouse.
I know of a Christian who embezzled money. LOTS of money. In fact all my tithes. 
I know of Christian's who have hit their kids or spouse.

What makes a good Christian? It it one who goes to church every Sunday? ALL the people above went to church every Sunday.

I know people who are not Christian and live an upright and moral life.

What is my point? Going to church on Sunday does not guarantee anything except then you can put on a fake Sunday face.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


I hate waiting for people that are late. Here is why. It tells me your time is more valuable then mine. It is so selfish. When your are late, it's like saying the world revolves around you. You are special, so no harm in being late.

When you tell someone you are going to do this or that at this time, I expect that you are going to honor that commitment. It is like a verbal contract. Lets do this at this time, you say ok. Then you are late. You broke the contract. It is also a control issue. You are in control now, and your controlling all the people who are waiting for you, because you are late.

I have been known to not wait for late people. I have and will leave them behind.

Admittedly, I have been late periodically. Yes, I have been late to work (like summer school) because I really did not want to go at all, or late to meet up with a friend.  Sometimes you get phone calls, traffic problems, you know the list. Once in a long while is forgivable.

To be chronically late is beyond annoying, its hateful.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Butt Up

Weird trivia: Do you know that mosquito larva swim with their butt up and their heads down? Thats right their butts are at the top of the water. 

Today I went out with friend A and friend B. I am not even going to make up fake names for them.  We had a great time tootling around Starboard. I really love Starboard. They had a little art show. It was cool and breezy because it is close to the water. I wish I lived in Starboard. Then we decided to go have a drink. So we left Starboard and went to Rolling Hills. We had a drink at Ozzys. We all had Arnold Palmers. (Ice tea and lemonade)

We had a great time talking. Friend A and Friend B kept saying to me, don't blog this or don't blog that. I said come on you guys give me something to write about. They gave me plenty but I promised I would not repeat what they said, until the way home. Somehow we got on the subject of hoarding. Friend B casually says to Friend A, your a hoarder. WHAT friend A said ( I was staying out of this one) Friend A said I am very neat, and hoarders are messy. Friend B said to friend A your a clean hoarder. Friend B says there is no such thing as a clean hoarder. Friend B said you collect this and you collect that. Friend A said I am a collector not a hoarder. Friend B said you have 5 of everything, your a hoarder. Then the truth came out. Friend A said NO I AM NOT LIKE MY MOTHER. I was very still and quiet hoping no one would notice me in the back seat. Friend B said no, your not like your mother, but your still a hoarder. Thankfully friend B and Friend A have been friends for a very long time. Friend B admitted she is a hoarder of sorts too. So I chimed in, me too. Much like friend A, I like to "collect" things like cookbooks.

The bible says it is better to get a wound from a friend then a kiss from an enemy. Amen.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Greasest Hits

Yes, I am still listening to War. Have you seen that ad on TV for that top pop hits from the 60's from time life? I would like to get that.

I have got my gig a low hooked on the song The World Is a Vamper from the Smashing Pumpkins. He was singing the song at dinner the other night. He even head banged the other day when I played the song for him. It made me laugh. My gig a low is charming and funny sometimes.

Me and my sweet friend had coffee together this morning. Her two sons and their friend joined us. How kind of the kids to join us. Her oldest son is a newly wed. My sweet friend's youngest son is going to start college soon.

I remember when we all went to Disneyland. We left the guys at home and took the kids.  It was so fun. Mrs F. was 12?  How did they grow up that fast? It was also Jeremiah's first trip to Disneyland.  We all had a great time together.  Mrs. F.'s hide a way bed kept folding up with her inside.  I remember my sweet friends boys, Mrs. F, and JC all sitting on the curb of main street waiting for the electric parade to go by. They all had ice-cream cones and ice cream all over their faces. We had such a big group when we went to California Adventure we took up the whole roll of seats on the ride. Most of the time we got the front. It was like we were really flying over California. What a grand time us ladies had with our kids.

Friday, August 13, 2010

New Names

I just downloaded the best of WAR. I am listening to the song "All Day Music." I love this song.
Yes, in my former life I was a low-rider. I still love low-riders. War reminds me of my low- riding days. Me and Baby Brother, used to run together... All my friends know the low- ride - er. The low rider drives a little slow-er. I can't type when I have this music on. Oh my favorite of all favorite war songs "summertime!" Rapping on the CB radio in the sand, its a big 10-4 to the trucking man, caus' it summer, summertime is here...

I am changing Sheryl's name to Dehlia. I am going to introduce a new name to you. Fuchsia. She is new to you, but not to me. It has taken me all this time to think up the right name for Fuchsia.

You know that French Bakery is like porn, or heroin. You get hooked in then your addicted. (Dehlia thought of the heroin analogy.) I had to take Fuchsia down to Wisteria to try it. Fuchsia loved it. She tried the yogurt. She got goosebumps. It was like a When Harry met Sally experience for her. I got the egg sandwich. It was good. We saw Dahlia there with one of her friends. Fuchsia and I had a good time catching up, because it had been awhile.

I thought I would by me and my gig a low a treat, so I got a goat cheese pear tart square for me and a chocolate ganache tart square for my gig a low. The goat cheese pear tart was scrumptious! The chocolate ganache packed a powerful punch of rich dark chocolate in each little tiny bite. Yes, I had to try some of my gig a lows treat.

Fuchsia wants to buy a bike. She wants a beach cruiser. So we stopped and looked at all the fancy beach cruisers in Wisteria. They had Hawaiian painted cruisers and poke- a- dots cruisers. Holy not a Schwinn batman, these bikes are $500.00 for a basic model. They had colored spokes and white wall tires. Really these bikes are works of art to be looked at. Not really for riding threw mud. Wisteria has their own beach cruiser club. We had a great time.

Guess where I ended up today, thats right the French bakery. Dehlia and I were suppose to go on a big exciting bike ride today. First it was the Golden Gate but the wind was to strong. So Dehlia and I made all these plans for plan B, but I was so groggy.  I decided just to bike around Wisteria. How anti-climatic.

The only thing that could change the same old bike ride through Wisteria, would be to stop at the French Bakery. So we rode our bikes and stopped at the French Bakery. I had an open faced tuna sandwich and a ice mocha. Dehlia had a egg dish. For dessert we shared this mini cupcake size chocolate decadent cake. It was moist and good, but not nearly as good as the ganache tart. So I have been to the French Bakery 3 times now in 7 days. I told you I was addicted. I need an intervention. I was on my bike so I couldn't take anything home, darn it. As always it is so fun to hang out with Dehlia. We rode our bikes 12 miles.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Oakland zoo

Today I went to a wedding at the Oakland zoo. You must be thinking the same thing I did. A wedding at the Oakland zoo?  The room and garden looked out on the bay. Yes indeed, It was a beautiful place for a wedding. I never heard even one animal squawk or smelled anything unusual. It did not take long to forget that you were at a zoo.

The bride met the groom on Craigslist.

It was a Mexican/Jewish wedding. They had a chupah to symbolize that the bride and groom are creating a home together and that it will always be open to guests. The bride and groom had a Mariachi band that played while guest were arriving. The Mariachi band sang that I-I-I-I song. The clergy was a woman who was all inclusive and believed that all paths lead to the same God. The groom did the breaking of the glass ceremony. In this wedding it was a symbol reminding us that life and marriage is fragile. We all said Mazel Tov!" A Christian man said a prayer. The brides brother read a poem. It was a multi-cultural and belief wedding. It was really alot of fun.

One of the guest was the prettiest man I have ever seen. I am not saying that in a mean spirited way. It was a fact. He had long blond hair in a lose bun. His skin was flawless. He had the perfect ski slope nose. His cheek bones were high. He was tall and willowy. The pretty man seemed like a delicate flower. I couldn't help but stare and wonder if he was a woman at one point in his life.

We all did that really fun circle dance. It was kind of greek like.

We were hoping for Mexican food, but it was traditional white people food. Chicken, salmon, rice, salad and a dinner roll.

The bride and groom looked lovely, very happy and a little overwhelmed. I wish them a long and joyful life together.  Here a 3 photos from the wedding.

A view of SF from the Snow ball room at the Oakland zoo

This is the Mariachi Band


A view from the Snow room at the Oakland zoo. This has a blimp in it.

Friday, August 6, 2010

The French Bakery

Today I had a most excellent day!

First thing this morning Sheryl and I went on a bike ride in Wisteria. We went almost 10 miles. We rode by rose gardens that smelled so sweet. There were red roses and white roses, pink, yellow and variegated roses. The roses were beautiful. We also rode under a long canopy of evergreen trees that shaded our path.

On the way back we stopped at this fabulous little French bakery, Sheryl says it is new in town. I had yogurt and fruit. It was French style yogurt. It almost had the consistency of cake frosting. I could tell by it's creamy rich flavor this was no cup of Dannon. They gave me a little cup of honey to mix in with it. The fruit included fresh cantaloupe, blueberry, and honeydew melon. Truly this yogurt was better then any man if you know what I mean?? OH YEAH BABY, that was good. I felt like I needed to smoke a cigarette when I was done eating the yogurt.  Sheryl had this extra large cup of coffee they serve in a small soup bowl. She had a roll of some fancy sort, that was delicious. I know because she gave me a taste! Really I wanted to stay there and try everything, but I had a lunch date with Jeremiah  and my sweet friend.

I was late meeting up with Jeremiah (I am dropping the "a" in her name) and my sweet friend. They forgave me. We had pizza. It was ok, but I was still thinking about the French pastry shop and how much I wanted to go back and take all my friends. My sweet friend is talking about getting a haircut. My advise is do not get a bob. Yes Jeremiah, it is called a bob. We had a great time catching up.

I came home and watched Mrs. F try out for American Idol down in the south. Me and my gig a low were glued to our computers because the local new station in the south had it on live streem. I made dinner during the breaks. We even ate dinner in front of the computer. Mrs. F looked so cute. She made it all the way to the top 10. I am very proud of her. It was very exciting.

Then me and my gig a low went to my dad's house so he could open his presents. Many people called to wish him a Happy Birthday. He played every last message for us to listen to. My dad seemed very happy.

We came home, now I am ready for bed.

Happy Birthday Dad

Today is my dad's Birthday. He is amazing. He has beat the odds.

I would never believe that we would be seeing my dad have another birthday. The birthday card I got him says it the best:
   "I said I can't, you said try again.
    I said it's to hard, you said don't give up.
    I said what if I fall, you said I'll be there to catch you.
This is exactly what my dad would say to me.

Dear Dad.
  When you say I can't, I will help you
  When you say it's to hard, I will say don't give up
  When you say what if I fall, I will say let's go to the Emergency Room.
  Jesus said he will never leave you or forsake you dad.
  I love you very much.

Thursday, August 5, 2010


How could I let MomaJane's birthday slip right by me? All of a sudden last night a thought went in my head. You missed mamajane's birthday. OH MAN. I love mamajane so much. I hope she finds it in her heart to forgive me.

Dear MaMaJane,

I love you very much and I am thankful for all you have done for me. You are the best MaMajane in the world! God bless you. I was happy to talk to you last night. I called my foster sister after I talked to you and we talked for a LONG time. It was fun.

Mamajane do you remember when me and my foster sister moved out? Do you remember our first dinning room table? It was a redwood picnic bench. Me and my foster sister got a good laugh out of that.

Thank you for all you have done for me and everyone else. As far as MaMa's go your my role model. I don't think I could of ever lived up to your level of caring for your children and your foster child (me). 

adjectives to describe MaMajane
  • sparkling
  • gifted
  • helpful
  • important (to me)
  • tender
  • delightful
  • gentle
  • big hearted
You are the best MaMa anyone could have.
Much Love,