Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Mr. Harie

Recently Mr. & Mrs. Harie got a new neighbor. She is an interior designer. She has a nasty little tea cup white poodle, who hides and growls and shows its teeth when ever it sees you. The interior designer seems very snobby. As I mentioned before Mr. Harie does not like "stuffed shirts." It appears she is a stuffed shirt. The Harie's and the interior designer (Ms. ID) share a common hallway.

When I arrived at the Harie's I noticed a new marble bench in the common hallway. I did not really think anything of it. Mr. Harie was busy shuffling things around from here to there, Mrs. Harie was "flopping"on the bed. I wanted to know what Mr. Harie was busy doing. I noticed on the outside patio Mr. Harie had somehow broken apart a bamboo clothes hamper.  Despite his severe condition he still moves pretty fast. I heard him in the hallway.

I went outside to see what he was doing. Mr. Harie was trying to hang the large rectangle chunk of bamboo hamper on the wall. I noticed he also had a canvass "painting" with a $1.00 store black frame. I said, what are you doing? I am hanging my new painting, what do you think of it he said? (the plan was to hang the 'painting' on top of the bamboo hamper rectangle.) I looked at the front and back of the canvass trying to discern where the "painting" was. I noticed on one side of the white canvas, was a few splotches of tan paint. In the center of the "painting" there was a RED fuzzy Velcro circle that had been glued on. Mr. Harie says to me, What do you think of the painting? I said well lets see, it is very unique. He said Mrs. Harie loves it. I made no comment. Then it hit me. Mr. Harie was hanging the painting to irritate his new neighbor Ms. ID. The painting was strategically place right across from the marble bench.

 Mr. Harie was determined to hang the painting. He was using a cut wire a coat hanger to poke holes in the hallway wall. He modified the coat hanger to become a picture hanger after he got it into the wall. Do you know how hard it is to poke a wire coat hanger through a wall? So I helped him poke holes in the hallway wall. After what seemed like an eternity we managed to get Mr. Harie's work of "art" in place. There it was in all it's glory, the painting with the red Velcro circle in the middle, on top of the bamboo hamper rectangle.

I thought Mr. Harie was finished when he told me we were going to move the marble bench a 8 feet to the left, so it would be between The Harie's door and the ID's door. Ok.... Mr. Harie tries to pick up the marble bench seat. I told him to stop I would do it. The marble bench seat must of weighed 5 tons. I picked up one side and put it on the hall way floor. I tried to pick up the other side but it was to heavy and I dropped it. It hit with a loud thud. I missed Mr. Harie's foot by 1/2 inch. Mr. Harie bent over and was trying to drag it. I told him to stop. I moved both bench legs that weight 1 ton each to the place Mr. Harie had set. I had had enough. There was no way I could drag that bench top 8 feet. I opened the door and called for Mrs. Harie to come outside.

When she came to the door this is what she said "oh my gosh, oh my gosh what am I going to do" she started frantically pacing.  As it turns out the marble bench is Ms. ID's. Mrs. Harie yelled at Mr. Harie and told him to get in the house. Mrs. Harie called Ms. ID on the phone. I could hear Ms. ID yelling at Mrs. Harie "TELL YOUR HUSBAND NOT TO TOUCH MY STUFF." Ms. ID says "You had better not hurt my bench". How can you hurt a 5 ton marble bench? Oh no, I am going to have to move the marble bench legs back and put the bench back together. I picked up the marble bench legs and put them back. Some how I managed to get the bench top back on the bench. Thank GOD!

The next day I felt like I had been run over by a mac truck!  I have to say I love working for the Haries!

1 comment:

ChaChaneen said...

Ha Ha - That was hilarious!

By the way, my Farmers Wife cookbook is about as close as I have for the Depression Era. How about you?