Thursday, August 26, 2010

My Confession (PG-13)

I had a really good day today. Everything at work was perfect. It was only 86 degrees. Fuchsia stopped by to show me her lovely new beach cruiser. It has black spokes and flowers on the frame. It has a wicker basket and sea foam green wheels with white wall tires. It really seems like the perfect bike for Fuchsia.

So I said to my gig a low, do you want to go get a Choco - Taco? It just seemed like the a grand way to end a great day.

So we go up to the corner liquor store. There was no place to park in the parking lot, so I pulled along side of the store. I noticed a car pulling in behind me. My gig a low says STOP here. Ok fine. I get out of my car and skip to the front door anticipating a Choco Taco.

I start visually scanning the little freezer, thinking about the waffle cone shaped like a taco shell, the vanilla ice cream filling, the chocolate and nut topping,,,, When I hear F___ You, Female Dog. It was the guy who had pulled up behind me.

The next thing I know I am in the guys face, 2 inches away from his nose staring directly into his beady little eyes, I said bleep bleep you bleeping bleeper. It was like time warp speed. What just happen here? I was praying that he would hit me, to give me a chance to female dog slap him to places unknown. Mr. tough guy saying FU to and old woman.  How dare he rain on my parade.

I said a few more things before I got control of myself. What Would Jesus Do?...certainly not call him a scrawny little bleep  bleep.  I had to walk away.

I lost it and so fast. My gig a low asked if I wanted him to get out of the car and take out a can of woop ___? No, I said as I drove away, I could do any wooping that needed to be done. I left without a Choco Taco.

So I called my sweet friend when I got home to confess my sin. She started laughing... what.. She was laughing hysterically. She said it deserved him right. Yes, it was an inconvenienced that he had to go around my car and park further away from the front door, but that did not give him the right to cuss at me. My sweet friend said she wished she could of been their to see me in action. So much for my confession.

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