Monday, February 15, 2010

Another X rated Story (mama jane don't read)

As I told you I spent some time this weekend with my FSM. We talked about the old days, and some of the crazy things we used to do. Here is a good one.

Long ago me and FSM where young and single. We lived in an apartment. It was on Blue Lagoon Street. Better known as the ghetto. We lived in the apartments on the top of the street (it was on a hill) so we were almost not ghetto. Our apartment was on the third floor. Being on the 3 ed floor had its advantages. We had an extra window, so we could see all the way down to the lagoon. We had neighbors come and go down stairs. We stayed in our little apartment for years.

One day a lady moved in down stairs. The blond bimbo type. Not a joke. I mean this literally.
We started to notice in the afternoons police cars (one at a time) would be parked in the "guest" parking. Hummmm, that was strange.

Then one day I heard some screaming from down stairs. I said to FSM- OMG its the blond bimbo, maybe we should call the cops, FSM agreed. We looked outside and the cops were already parked in the guest parking. What... how could they be here so fast? We thought the bimbo was getting murdered. Then we heard Bang Bang Bang, oh man someone was beating this poor woman, we needed to do something, but the cops were already here. Then we heard her screaming "harder, harder, faster, faster. " OOOOOO, she was not being murdered after all.
Every afternoon for weeks, we heard screaming, a banging headboard, harder, harder, faster, faster. We would look outside when the commotion stopped. We would watched different police men jump in his cop car, with a big smile on his face. I guess they were getting a "nooner."

This got old very quickly. So FSM and I came up with a plan. The bimbo's bedroom window was right below FSM's bedroom window. We made a sign out of white poster board that said in great big bold black letters "HARDER -HARDER- FASTER- FASTER." we hung the sign on a long string. We took the screen off FSM's window, we were ready. But we had to wait for the next afternoon.

Just like clock work, a cop would arrive, the screaming started. Me and FSM would hang out the 3ed floor window with our sign on a string and try to make the sign hit the bimbo's window with the words facing in, toward the bedroom. I can't remember why we thought this would make them stop, we just knew it was the right thing to do.

The cops must of got nervous when they realized me and FSM knew what was going on. Soon the cops stopped seeing the bimbo downstairs. Not to long after that the bimbo moved. Our little plan worked.

After that the cops would come, but they came to our apartment looking for someone. That is another story.

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