Hey Mikey, I did it!

Foodie Sister 1 has reached out to "friend" me. In doing so she has asked me to play "words with friends" on our cell phones. I asked Foodie Sister 1 what is words with friends? scrabble she said. My eyes popped open WHAT?? I can do this. I said ok. My story is to long and complicated to tell a new friend right out of the gate. I told her I have never played Scrabble before. She looked shocked.

Growing up with a bad case of dyslexia, prevented me from playing many childhood games. I have never in my life played scrabble. Why should I? I can't spell anything. When I was young I did not want my friends to know I could not read or spell. My foster sister tried really hard to help me out. So when my foster sister and I would play a game, she would do the counting or reading. God bless her. Now that I am old, and I have learned to read and write a little better (Thanks to the Literacy program and 20 years of hard work.) I am going to try to play scrabble for the first time in my life!

For some unknown reason here in America if you can't spell that equates stupidity. It is a cultural thing. You are told all your life (by teachers, bosses, friends, the media and family) if you can't spell you must be a complete idiot. That is why dyslexics do everything they can to hide, they don't want you to know they can't spell or read. They do not want you to think they are dimwitted. I found out that spelling has nothing to do with your intelligence. If you can figure out how to spell any word, then you are a good speller. It does not mean you are smarter then me.

So I downloaded the app. The app told me I was first. OH no, what am I suppose to do? The game board was filled up with squares, some with these colors tiles that say DL, DW, TL. and one with a star. What does that mean? I had these tiles with letters on them. Humm, I think I need to make a word. I kept making words, and the app would not except them. The app told me I had make a word with a letter tile on the star.

I was starting to stress. I told my gig a low that I was worried about playing this game. My gig a low said I have to tell Foodie sister 1 that I have dyslexia. No, I don't want to. The foodie family seems a little intimidating, they are great cooks, and are very brainy (but down to earth.) I can do this.

F I N D! My first word!!! I did it. I put the N tile over the star. It worked! Last night I came up with the word
L E F T I S T for 20 points. I did not cheat and use my computer to help me come up with a words. Now Foodie Sister 1 has 42 points and I have 40!!!!

The Sky Is The Limit

The other day me and my sweet friend along with Allalian went out for a bite to eat. We where talking about work and our jobs not being very secure. Allalian said I work for a major corporation, you could get a job in my corporation. She said you have to pass a test. I said what kind of test? Math mostly. I said most likely I cannot pass a math test. Allalian said well RQ if "you expect to fail a test you will."

Oh how I hate those words.

When I was younger, I was a victim of "learned helplessness" during my k-12 years. After you fail test after test year after year, you do expect to fail. I stopped trying. After I graduated from High School and could not read or write, I found out I had dyslexia. I did not understand my diagnosis.

That all changed for me while I was in college.

First of all they tested me for a learning disability. It was confirmed that I have visual AND audio processing disorders. After all these years of being beat down by myself and other people who would say "if you would just try harder, your lazy, study more, IF YOU EXPECT TO FAIL YOU WILL," I was validated. There is a reason I fail test, even if I studied hard and expected to pass.

In college they tought me how to work with my brain malfunction and build new neurons. They gave me tools to check in with my dyslexia. They showed me modern technology that helps people like me. Like talking spelling check and a screen reader. They showed me text to voice scanning programs.  Is my dyslexia better? no. Can I work with it now? yes.

Sidebar: my gig a low helped me pass tests. He was there for me when I would cry and want to give up because it was all just to hard. Building neurons is painful. When I would hit the wall, and my brain just would not work, my gig a low was standing by with a warm hug. How lucky am I to have a man who understands my disability and who does not use my being disabled against me. I know you all have read the story about how my gig a low has helped me over the years.(see my funny and charming blog)


Let me remind you Allalian, I got a 3.75 in college. That is mostly an "A" average. I know about taking test. At the college when I had to take a test they accommodated my severe learning disability by giving me extra time and a scribe when I needed it. They never gave me a modified test. Not only that I spent hours and hours, months and months, years and years with tutoring. Just ask Dahlia. God bless her, it was no easy chore to tutor me.

I do not expect to fail a test.

I recently took a math test and failed. Was I surprised that I failed? no. Why, because now I know how my visual processing disorder limits me.

Do you think there is a difference between expecting to fail and knowing limits? Do you know what your limits are? Are you going to tell me there are no limits? Is it wrong for me to know and except my limits? Is that the same as expecting to fail? Do you think if I tried harder my brain would change magically?

Most people who say things like you did, really don't understand how learning disability's work. 

One Wish

If I could have one wish, it would be that I could spell. People have the misconception that if you cannot spell you are a complete idiot. Some people also believe that if you can not spell

you are illiterate. The next thing people seem to think is if you cannot spell you have no intelligence. I have heard these three arguments all my life. The fact of the matter is spelling has nothing to do with your intelligence. 

The dictionary definition of intelligences is "the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills."

The dictionary definition of illiterate is "unable to read and write." 

I am able to acquire knowledge and skill. On top of that I can read.  Imagine that. 

The problem I have is that I have a visual processing disorder. The disorder makes it impossible for me to spell and see patterns . What is really bad if two words are close in spelling I cannot see the difference, therefor, I find it difficult to distinguish what word is the right one. So spell checker puts in the wrong word, and I think it is fine.

Here is the response I get if I tell people I am dyslexic. They say "I am too" haha. Umm - sorry most likely your not.

I hate it when I read social websites such as Claycord.com and I see people calling someone who can't spell stupid. It makes me afraid to say what I am thinking and post on the site. Why should the good spellers be the only one's that have a voice? That's why I started this blog. I can say what I am thinking and if I spell something wrong oh well. 

If spelling words properly is something that is key to your life, I guess you will have to move on to the next blog.